I think my brain is missing

Losing my mind over him!! Everytime I hear our song, my mind wanders back to the day we danced to it. We literally danced to it like 4 times in a row. And I want to go back to that moment and stay there. I see that favorite picture of him and I want him to look at me like that again. I miss seeing his face. I miss holding his hand and I miss the promises. I miss talking about getting married. I just miss those dreams we shared. But we are moving in seperate directions so fast, I can barely reach out to grab you. I still dream about you every night. I still think about that big wedding. I still want all that. But you don't. At least not any more. And the sad part? I don't know what you want! You are so confusing! I want to lay in your arms forever, just like you promised. And sadly I just realized, I went from talking about him, to talking like I am talking to him! But I love him. And if I knew he wouldn't get upset I would tell him.

FUCK

Fuck you for doing this to me. Fuck you for not knowing what you want until its all my fault you don't have it. Fuck you for making me feel lower than the ground. Fuck you for distracting me when I have other parts of my life to pay attention to. You fuckin don't get to tell me that you never want to talk to me again. Because damn we all know you'll be back in a week. And I can't say I'll be here. Because you have gone too far this time. It's your fault and all I can say is I hope you find a girl who loves you like I loved you but I hope she gives you everything you deserve: lies, hatred for yourself, a pain so deep you feel like you are breaking inside, a crazy messed up life that ends in misery like you have given me. I hope you feel like shit for what you have done. Because I am so ready to see you suffer like you have made me suffer. FUCK YOU