Eek!

First day of class and I'm nervous. What if it is really really hard? I really can't take four hard classes. I would diiiie. What if the profs are mean? What if when I go to Israel, I get super behind and they won't be understanding or help me out? I'm really freaking out. Dad pretty much said I have no excuse to fail, because all of the resources on campus but what if I do get help but I am still awful at that course? I would be soooo screwed at home. Oh goodness I'm nervous.

Good Morning World and All Who Inhabit It

Hi! Its a good day. Dad and Jessica are coming up and my floor is having dinner together before the community concil info meeting. Then classes start tomorrow, which I am looking forward to. And Kristy is here on Wednesday. Gonna be a great week. Alan might visit this month too which would be sweet since its been a month since I have seen him. So I'm feeling good so far. Making friends and all that. More later

Shopping and my Plan

So yesterday, shopping with the roommates. Went into Old Navy. And did something I have never ever done. I bought more than one thing. My dad has trained me. You don't go into a store without a plan, buy what you want and you certainly don't buy it at full price. I did all of that. I just bough what I wanted, no guilt. Just picked up what I liked and payed for it. It's so weird but that is like the victory of my week. That just rocked it out.

So my plan for Alan is to leave it all to him. Everything. Hes the one who doesnt know what he wants.

Good Day

Had an awesome time meeting the roommates. We are going to get along great! Had so much fun eating and talking and shopping. Got a new purse and some other stuff. This rocks. Alan is home. Feeling so much better.

Dear Alan

Dear Alan,
I love you. More than anything in the world. I care for you so much. I had this dream. This afternoon. I see you and me holding hands. You get down on one knee. You tell me you love me and want to be together forever. I cry. You kiss me. We tell our family. But no one was surprised. Everyone said it was only a matter of time. We are so in love. You tell me to plan my dream. The next year is so happy. We have a big wedding. You look so perfect in a tux. You smile when you see me. You can't even cry. We are so happy. We take our vows. Everyone is smiling. When he says we are husband and wife, you lean in to kiss me. Before we do, you whisper you love me and we will be together forever. I look in your eyes and I know its true. Our lips meet. The first kiss of the rest of our life together. We dance. Its just like the first time we danced. I can't see anyone but you. You hold me so tight and we are alone in that hotel room again, dancing to John Mayer and so in love. We spend the night with all our family and friends. The food is amazing, just what you wanted but I don't think you would care if it wasn't. We barely taste it. All night, your lips find mine and I am always back to that night in your arms. You just held me and I knew then. That this was forever. A huge party of 300+ people but we barely notice as we leave for an amazing week on a cruise. I feel all alone with you everywhere we go. We get back to a beautiful life together. A year later, you know something. You just know. We tell our family. They are still not surprised. You take care of me. You rub my feet, my back, my belly. You whisper hello everyday when you get home. You kiss me softly. Then one day, its time. You hold my hand and I give birth to our beautiful daughter. Shes blonde and blue-eyed just like you but you don't even notice. You hold her and you are so in love. I love you more and I don't even know. Christian comes in. He's getting so big and looks more like you and Shawn everyday. He holds her. And it is so precious. We go home. I hold our baby and you hold me and we are so happy. And everyday I love you more than the day before. If that is even possible. And we are together forever.